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Thursday, March 02, 2006

Herbie the Dentist

Three weeks ago my husband told me he had a toothache. Three weeks ago, I told my husband to call the dentist. By Monday the agony was great enough that he couldn't play soccer that night because of the pain.

Not having gone in 3 years, we are both due to see the dentist. We obviously have issues, I know, I know.

The appointment was not made without some amount of prodding on my part, nor did my husband refrain from whining that there were no appointments available either before or after work hours on less than a week's notice.

Correct, you heard it correctly...SOMEHOW IT HAD ESCAPED MY HUSBAND'S ATTENTION THAT THE COVETED 8 AM APPOINTMENT WOULD BE IN SUCH DEMAND THAT YOU WOULD NEED TO CALL OVER 6 MONTHS IN ADVANCE. And he assumed that he could call on Monday for a Tuesday pre-work hour appointment. Yes, of course, because you are the only person who is slightly busy during the conventional work day...

The fact that he ended up getting an 8 am appointment only 3 days after calling for it is the first indication that the apocalypse is upon us. Quite frankly, I would have said his odds were better at winning the powerball than getting that appointment, but what do I know?

My point here is that he should be thanking the God we pray to on Sunday that he was lucky enough to get the appointment. But is that how it goes down? Noooooooooo.

He calls me on his way to work to tell me everything went fine, he got the cavity filled, but "can you believe he wouldn't fill the other cavity he found or do a cleaning? He said this was an 'emergency' appointment and I had to make another one to get my teeth cleaned and the other cavity filled!" No, actually, I can't believe that because I am too busy not believing you got the appointment in the first place to not believe what he may or may not have said to you.

And then I make the mistake of a rookie wife. I should have known better than to get involved in this debacle but..."Let's just go together, I'll call the dentist and make appointments for us to both get our teeth cleaned and you can have your cavity filled then too. Okay?" Why? Why isn't there a manual on marraige, surely this would be one of the most prominently featured chapters "Do Not Get Involved in Making Appointments for Your Husband to See Professional Health Care Providers"

This kid gives me two days to work with, BOTH FOR NEXT WEEK MIND YOU, only one of which I am available for. So I call and get the appointments for the day we can make it next week at 11 am. I don't even ask for the 8 am, because when I say who I am, the receptionist makes clear that my husband was a pain in the ass on the appointment front and lets me know that there are no 8 am or 4:30 pm appointments available until June.

So I happily make the appointment, just glad there was an opening for next week at all. Then in my naive newlywed stupor, I call to let my husband know the good news. Truimphant in my belief that I was the World's Greatest Wife, secure in the knowledge that I had succeeded in setting up an appointment under a set of limitations no ordinary human could have overcome...only to be met with this response:

Him: Alright, I guess it's okay. But did you try and make it for earlier? 11 is really a pain.

Me: What about this process do you not understand?


Blogger Katrina said...

Congratulations on the superhuman feat of scheduling not ONE, but TWO appointments to see the dentist at such short notice!

I am truly amazed, even if Newlyhusband doesn't yet understand the magnitude of the accomplishment.


12:31 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

Boys just don't get it. I used to be one of those people who would try to understand the inner workings of boys and appointments. I have given up. Also, I am glad that someone else puts off those silly things like dentist and eye appointments. I just made a dentist appointment after two years without one and it took a filling coming out to make me do it and the eye doctor appointment...well, let's just say I am still working on glasses still let me see words...most of the time.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Josefina said...

ok I don't like this: I just made a HUGE comment, and for a strange reason it didnĀ“t appear!!!
I'll wait or else I'll write it again...pisses me off when these things happen!!
just in case: i've been married for 1 year and 2 months, and i've laughed a lot with your blog, feel pretty identified, even though i'm chilean (seems all marriages are somewhat alike, despite "cultural" differences!!)

3:42 PM  
Blogger Poppy Cede said...


I made an appointment for my husband's hair appointment this Saturday because I was sick of him complaining about how long it is. It bothers me that he assumes it's my responsibility to make said appointment, but it's a small enough annoyance that I just accept it, because whenever there's something wrong with the house he takes care of fixing it or calling people to fix it and I don't want to do that in exchange for him making all of our appointments. :)

4:38 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I can relate. When I make our kids' doctor's appointments, which are usually hard to do because our pediatrician is so good that everyone wants to go to her, my husband always asks, "why didn't you make it later in the day?" Um, I'm sorry, I guess i felt like if the first appointment they had was more than a month away, I was lucky to get anything at all. Funny how they never offer to make the appointments themselves!

5:04 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

After changing jobs (and insurance) I wanted to make all new appt's for the two of us, but also really needed to change doctors since they were all closer to my old job (read that far far away). Getting someone to clean your teeth, check your insides or tell you how much braces are going to cost cannot happen during a convenient time. I am still agast that you managed to do so!! Congrats! From now on, just let hubby make his own appts, he can get yelled at by the receptionists then!!

11:11 AM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I HONESTLY can hear Mark saying those same words... they always could have done it just a bit better. Think that the women in their lives somehow have the magical ability to suspend reality so the world can more easily bow to their whim. Hmmm... maybe I have pent up hositility on this issue. :)

In summation, way to go for forcing your budding fam to head ot the dentist. You should definitely get all dental matters handled before you start trying to pop kids out into the world :)

5:27 PM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:54 PM  
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