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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Family Time

My husband has two sisters. I have written about them before, but always hesitate a little because well...they did not sign up to be talked about on the internet.

But the blog is really a chronicle for butterbaby (since it didn't pan out so well with my husband, who doesn't read this thing...aren't I like a dog with a bone? Can't. Let. It. Go...just READ A SINGLE DAMN POST for the love of GOD...I am witty and funny about OUR lives! ARE YOU NOT INTERESTED IN OUR OWN LIVES?) Okay, got off track there yelling at my husband. And really, can't I just yell at him in person? It seems silly to yell at him over a blog, THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN READ FOR PETE'S SAKE! (pun intended).

AHEM (clearing throat). Anyhoo...my sisters in law. Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah. I don't like to go into too much detail about them on this internet blog so as not to upset them and their privacy, but I do like to mention them from time to time because they are a part of butterbaby's (and our) life.

Is anyone even still with me? I am getting to the point. I swear.

One of my SILs had a baby a month before I did. And we both had girls! I know right? Great! They can play together and we can bond and be total BFF's who go for long carraige walks and playdates...because, HELLO?!? We both have babies, and isn't that all that matters once you actually HAVE a baby? (I was being sarcastic there...).

Except not so much. She lives in Baltimore, which is two hours away from where I live outside of Philadelphia. And the truth of the matter is that even though I love her, we aren't as close as we could be, mainly because of the distance. But right at the outset of the pregnancy, she and her husband decided to move to our town, which boaded well for my plan.

When we first got pregnant, I had this whole thing in my head about how we would totally bond and be so much closer through this whole thing. She would move up here, and we could have the babies...join play groups, go to Gymboree...hang out at the local coffee shop where all the moms go with their kids for story time. Forget that I actually will be working, and don't know of any good playgroups, and I don't think she drinks coffee. Details. Just details.

The main thing was that we would totally bond and get closer. It would be almost instantaneous, and we would be bestest friends.

Only we hit a few bumps in the road...first, there was a big issue that created some tension for a while in the beginning of the pregnancies. And then, even more devastating to my plan, she couldn't sell her house and so she hasn't moved up yet (does anyone want a Martha Stewart pristine house in a lovely suburb of Baltimore?). The other problem with the plan? We probably wouldn't rank high on the compatability test. She is one of those women who just naturally have it together all the time. I, on the other hand, went out the other day with one side of my nursing bra undone. She is great at all things domestic. I made a Boboli pizza two nights ago and my husband praised me like I had just made a five course dinner because, come on...a Boboli actually required me to use the oven...Oven Usage people! Her house is always beautiful, and is decorated like a Restoration Hardware catalogue, only better. My husband tripped over the breast pump which was by the door on his way in from work the other day.

To be fair, I have my own strengths. I do have some parts of life together. Let's just say that she is no better or worse than I, just different. And I don't know that we would have chosen to befriend each other if we met in college (although I was pretty fun in college...) but we genuinely like each other, and I know that we could be great friends. And even with the differences, we both have some things in common...like she is really funny, and have the same tastes in alot of things. It's just, I think we need to try a little in the beginning...probably like most in-laws.

Which is where my plan comes in. But the plan was complicated by the aforementioned problems and the bonding has not been instantaneous. Plus, I am pretty sure she would be horrified if she found out about my insane plan and probably fake some sort of ankle injury to avoid any playdates or long carraige walks. But she doesn't know about my plan, which is good because I have not abandoned the plan, just modified it a little. Sure, it will take more time, but I think it is still viable...

(Does my insanity come through too much in the above paragraph? I think maybe yes. I should ask my husband if I sound too insane before I publish this post. Oh, wait. That would require him to read the blog! Is this horse dead yet?)

Especially after yesterday. Yesterday, she was up at my in-laws house with the kids, so I brought the baby over to hang out. And it was just her and I and the kids (and my mother-in-law, but she is really unassuming, so it was really like it was just her and I and the kids...go with me here.) When I came in, she was holding my niece, and put her down in her carrier to pick butterbaby up out of her carrier. And I picked my niece up.

And we just talked about the kids for a while. Standing there, rocking the babies. She was holding mine, and I was holding hers. And the conversation was easy and it was just...nice, you know? Nothing fancy, no big playdates. I didn't break out the bugaboo...just her holding our babies and talking. It was everything I had pictured when I got pregnant. It felt really nice.

And I thought to myself: I am totally ROCKING this plan! (God I hope she doesn't find out and suddenly come down with some kind of ankle condition).

5 Comments:

Blogger Marcy said...

lol! Good luck with The Plan. =P You never know, she might be just as desperate to make friends with someone with a similar-aged child as you are. ; )

As for the hubby... you could go to feedblitz or one of these other feed sites and subscribe your hubby to get your blog updates in his email. Maybe if they go straight to his inbox he'll read them? I'm gonna start a blog for baby once he's born and I'm probably gonna go ahead and subscribe the grandparents and some other family members to it, b/c I know they'd want to see the pictures and read the stories but some people just suck at remembering to go check a blog.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Someday, Dear Hubby will be sulking after a silly fight with you and for some unknown reason, he'll go to your blog to see if you wrote nasty things and instead, he'll see all the incredible posts about the life you two have and he'll cry and he'll order flowers and he'll come begging...

Yeah, or not. But I dream like you dream.

Good luck with the sister thing. Look at it this way: so far, so good!!!

7:24 PM  
Blogger Katrina said...

That sounds like the beginning of something that might just be great. I have to tell you, I'm jealous. I, too, long for closer relationships with all of my sisters-in-law (I have 3), but distance and the vagaries of our personalities and who knows what else are still keeping us sort of floundering around on the friendly surface of this family thing. Wish I knew how to fix that. Maybe I'll just watch you for a while till I get the hang of The Plan. :)

2:52 AM  
Blogger Valerie said...

I'm glad you and your sister-in-law can be friends! My boyfriend's sister and I have already thrown friendship possibilities out the window.

8:22 AM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

you are too funny! I love the plan! And love that you are ROCKING IT even more.

Sorry I've been absent for so long -- things just got so hectic for awhile -- but I'm glad that you and baby are doing great!

And, hello? Need I remind you of your own super-cute newly-decorated home? You've got some mad skills all your own :)

6:12 PM  

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