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Saturday, September 10, 2005

We all could use a little Hooters

We have never been your average couple in alot of ways. In other ways, we are drving down the main street of life, in a Volvo, on the straight and narrow. And I think most people are like that. Everyone has their quirks while every marraige has universal stereotypes.

What is unbearable, incidentally, are people who pride themselves on being different from the norm, but are only different for the sake of being different. These people are annoying...you know the people...they don't like Maroon 5 ever since they went so commercial. My husband has this ex-girlfriend who I'll call Erika Badu (no offense to Erika) and she was the "I don't even own a tv, I just don't think there is anything of social value in it, I have much more lofty things to do with my time" girl. I have two thoughts about this girl. First, how could my husband have dated this woman, and then dated me? I am the "I love TV, and I would watch MTV all day every day, mostly just to see Britney Spears and what she's been up to" girl. Second thought is this: You like tv. You know you do, and I know you do, and...I know you know that I know you do. So put down your book of Maya Angelou poetry and come watch Battle of the Network Reality Stars for the love of God. But I digress...

Back on topic. So my husband and I are pretty normal most of the time. But sometimes this kid goes all wacky and against the grain of your typical husband/wife dynamic. Before we got married, friends assured me that the wife makes all social plans. After all, women are good at making plans, they will call you on Monday to invite you to do something on Saturday night. They call back on Tuesday to find out your answer, Wednesday they talk about the options for what to do, Thursday they make reservations, Friday they confirm, and Saturday you have yourself a nice night out. I can't be sure, but it seems that men don't make plans so much as bump into each other at regular hangouts.

Anyway, I was dubious about this as my husband often made plans for us before we got married. But after we got married, I did sense a shift, and it appeared that he was fine, nay, glad that I was making plans for us. It was going swimmingly...until....

THE HOOTERS PARTY

That's right, my husband's friend from law school (alright, I was friends with him too, but c'mon!) was having a surprise 30th birthday at HOOTERS. You know HOOTERS, the fine establishment where men claim they have the best wings? If by wings you mean waitresses in skimpy outfits with big boobs. That's the one. Now, I have previously posted about my prudishness so I will not bore you, but I think we can agree that I was not excited to attend the party. Unfortunately, my husband made these plans. The kid picked this party as his first foray into making plans for the newlyweds, and decided he wanted to go. But here is the real kick in the ass - the guy's wife called me at work and asked me if we were coming. Apparently despite making the plans we still have a problem on the follow through...clearly he can't be expected to actually remember to RSVP right? So I get the call at work. (NOTE: If you want a guaranteed 'yes' out of either myself or my husband, put us on the spot while we are at work.) So I said yes.

Then I promptly bitched to my husband for the remainder of the week about having to go to HOOTERS.

So on Saturday night, we got all shined up for a night on the town. And I have to say, I was not making it easy on my husband, I was being particularly cranky about the whole thing...that is until....I tried the onion rings. SWEET JESUS, Hooters has the best onion rings I have ever tasted. Seriously. They were delicious. How could I not have known? So I did what any other newly married, yet independent woman would do.

I marched right up to the hostess and asked if they had takeout. Then I bought a t-shirt.

7 Comments:

Blogger undercover celebrity said...

Hilarious. We may be kindred spirit -- I, too, am quite enamoured by the life and times of Britney Spears, love TV in general, an something of a prude... and LOVE a good onion ring.

Though I don't think I'm as big a woman as you, I wouldn't have admitted to purchasing the T-Shirt. :)

5:02 PM  
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