free web hit counter

Monday, August 29, 2005

Philly Fringe


The above picture is an advertisement for a show in the Philadelphia Fringe Festival. I believe the show is called The Adventures of Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey.

I can think of nothing less appealing than the Fringe Festival. For me, anyway. I can intellectually understand that there is value in the Fringe Festival, that art is subjective and that this venue allows creativity and performance that otherwise would have no outlet to survive. But I drive a red volvo. I live in the suburbs, I can watch MTV all day, every day. Laguna Beach marathon...I am in. What I am saying is that I am as Ann Taylor as it gets my friends, and anything outside the very mainest of the mainstream is not really my bag.

It isn't that the art is alternative. I can deal with alternative for a night. I'll put on something trendy and stomach down Tappas and Mojito's with the best of them. My problem is that the Fringe Festival involves raunchy, sexual acts to a large degree. So while I am game for swimming outside the current once in a while, the thought of anything sexual being portrayed in public gives me hives. But we are going. Following a lengthy and hard fought battle between my husband and I, we are going to Fringe. I am leaving the center to hang out on the fringe for a while. And I have hives. Is it un-fringe to wear calamyne lotion under my trendy top?

What is worse it that we have been to the Fringe before, and caught the riveting performance of a puppet master who puts on the show from out of her vagina. HER VAGINA! I almost had a heart attack. No, I don't want to see your vagina, I don't want to know what turns you on, or what turns your friends on, I don't want to see your underwear, or worse, any of your private parts. I don't want you to tell me about the time you and your wife got drunk and tried that...and I don't want to tell you about anything that I may or may not do with my husband in our private intimate moments. I don't even like typing "private intimate moments"...

Do these people have parents, or any shame for that matter? Aren't they worried the store clerk from Ann Taylor will see a picture of them in their underwear on the Fringe website? How could you ever go in to buy a cardigan twinset again?

I would like to fake an epileptic seizure on the sidewalk to get out of going to the show, but people would probably mistake it for performance art...

6 Comments:

Blogger undercover celebrity said...

Ok. Seriously, I know, I'm addicted to your blog. We must move past this. I am dying of laughter over here. It is as if I am reading someone else writing my own thoughts.

I could not agree with you more. Sex equals art if pervert equals artist. And I think we can all agree that pervert does NOT equal artist. Give some perv a stage and a spotlight and suddenly, because it's out in the open, it's entertainment? No. No. No.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

No puppetry of the penis for you!

I must tell you, though, that not all fringe stuff is bad. There was one where people raced toilets mounted to bikes, down 2nd Street. It was funny.

4:27 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

chanel handbags, christian louboutin uk, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, gucci handbags, michael kors outlet online, uggs outlet, uggs outlet, ray ban sunglasses, prada outlet, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet online, kate spade outlet, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, nike air max, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry handbags, tiffany jewelry, polo outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin, nike outlet, tory burch outlet, jordan shoes, burberry outlet, replica watches, michael kors outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, uggs on sale, nike free, louis vuitton, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton, christian louboutin shoes, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses wholesale, louis vuitton outlet

9:17 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

true religion outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, ralph lauren uk, mulberry uk, michael kors outlet, michael kors, hollister pas cher, hollister uk, polo lacoste, nike air max uk, converse pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, nike blazer pas cher, north face, nike air force, ray ban uk, true religion outlet, nike roshe, nike free uk, replica handbags, longchamp pas cher, lululemon canada, sac longchamp pas cher, coach purses, nike air max uk, jordan pas cher, kate spade, ray ban pas cher, timberland pas cher, louboutin pas cher, oakley pas cher, polo ralph lauren, nike air max, north face uk, true religion jeans, sac hermes, guess pas cher, hogan outlet, michael kors, new balance, nike roshe run uk, michael kors pas cher, true religion outlet, burberry pas cher, nike free run, coach outlet store online, nike tn, coach outlet, air max, vans pas cher

9:19 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

north face outlet, ipad cases, lululemon, ferragamo shoes, bottega veneta, jimmy choo outlet, hermes belt, beats by dre, iphone 6 plus cases, timberland boots, soccer shoes, iphone 6s cases, chi flat iron, mont blanc pens, insanity workout, celine handbags, iphone 6 cases, louboutin, ghd hair, nike roshe run, wedding dresses, new balance shoes, soccer jerseys, hollister clothing, s6 case, nike air max, nfl jerseys, iphone cases, baseball bats, mcm handbags, valentino shoes, reebok outlet, asics running shoes, longchamp uk, north face outlet, vans outlet, abercrombie and fitch, babyliss, giuseppe zanotti outlet, oakley, p90x workout, hollister, instyler, herve leger, iphone 6s plus cases, mac cosmetics, ralph lauren, nike trainers uk, nike huaraches, iphone 5s cases

9:22 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, canada goose, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, pandora uk, canada goose outlet, converse, toms shoes, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, ray ban, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, nike air max, louis vuitton, moncler, hollister, ugg, marc jacobs, canada goose outlet, canada goose jackets, ugg pas cher, karen millen uk, replica watches, moncler outlet, gucci, canada goose, louis vuitton, barbour, juicy couture outlet, moncler outlet, hollister, ugg uk, coach outlet, thomas sabo, supra shoes, pandora charms, swarovski, barbour uk, links of london, converse outlet, canada goose uk, montre pas cher, canada goose, swarovski crystal, vans, moncler, juicy couture outlet, moncler, lancel, doudoune moncler

9:24 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home