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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Note to Self

Dear Self:

If you ever spend an entire year painstakingly, lovingly, and consistently chronicling your first year of marriage in a well thought out, and perfectly planned first anniversary present (and in a clever way that stays within the guidelines of the 'paper' anniversary etiquette no less) which you are sure will knock the socks off of your husband and win you wife of the year...please know that depite your dreams of his eyes filling with tears, and a lazy morning in bed together, laughing while reading and remembering this wacky year, he will instead make a big, but brief, fuss over it, tell you he loves you, loves the journal 'bloggy' thing, and then promptly read approximatly only 1/2 of the entries (while you stand over him expectantly) before never EVER looking at it again.

You will know he never looked at it again because you will have spent over 2 hours figuring out 'statcounter' for just such a reason. And you will never get those 2 hours of your life back.

But Self, what I really want to tell you is this: You may feel like you no longer want to blog because, "what is the point really?" I mean you were doing it for him weren't you? And that unromantic son of a bitch can't even click on it every once in a while even though he spends hours, and I mean HOURS, on Well Self, don't give it up. Don't give it up, because regardless of whether or not it's important to him now, it will be...when you fall into a coma and he glimpses life without you and while sitting by your side in the hospital remembers the blog and uses his blackberry to re-live all the great memories over and over again, all night...until dawn, when you wake from the coma (unharmed, and with amazingly fresh breath) and he takes you into his arms because he only just now realized how much you mean to really mean to him...

Alright Self, you're not going to fall into a coma, but you will be sorry you gave up the blog thing. You'll miss your friends from blogland, and really you were on the verge of convincing Eliza to actually hang out with you in give it up now would crush that dream forever. Besides, even if he doesn't know it yet, it will be nice to have this journal of your young lives together.

Plus, when you quit blogging, the terrorist win. Or something like that.

Oh, and Self, he may not read the blog, but other than that, he is everything you ever wanted, so you might want to give him a pass on the blog thing (and also, you might want to log onto his fantasy football page, and release Peyton Manning as the quarterback...depending on how hurt you were).



P.S. You also might want to ease up on the run-on sentences, I am having trouble following myself.


Blogger Jules said...

Hehehe. Don't let it drag you down too much, he is a guy after all, albeit a good guy. He will appreciate it one day.

I am so glad that you are back. I've missed reading your posts.

8:31 AM  
Anonymous KidKate said...

That was a great post! My husband is exactly the same way. He says he's proud that I do it, but does he actually ever read an ever-lovin' word of it? Noooo. Not that I'm bitter.

4:56 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

a) we are SO hanging out together!!
b) the releasing of Peyton on his fantasy team is a GREAT idea... I have to remember that!
c) don't worry about it. I reluctantly told my fam about my blog and none of them read it anymore, so I figure I'm just too dull. I'm good with that.


5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Start printing out random posts and leave them lying around the house... tape them to things... put them i the bathroom. He'll eventually get them by osmosis.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Poka Bean said...

my hubby's the same way! i told him once that i had just written a nice post about him, he should go read it. he just replied, what did it say? why don't you just TELL me?? i just don't know why they don't get it.

glad you're back, though!

9:57 PM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

In a strange twist of fate, you may like him NOT reading it -- it's a forum for you to vent frustrations and get feedback from people who don't really know you.

Sometimes there are things I'd like to say but I know that certain people read my blog so I have to sensor.

... a blessing in disguise I tell you :)

1:39 PM  
Blogger Katrina said...

I didn't know you were back! I'm so glad. And I'm also glad (in that misery-loves-company kind of way) to know that my husband is not the only one who can't be troubled to read my blog, despite my persistent fantasy that he is panting with desire for the smallest glimpse of my inmost soul.

Oh, well. As you pointed out about your husband, he excels in pretty much every other important area, so I supposed I can cut him some slack.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Can we review the "blogging for the sake of all the wonderful people who love to read what Newly has to say and chuckles at her wit and wisdom" part? I MISS YOU!!! come out already. Hubby be damned, some of us love your blog. (And he does too, it's just all that spilling of emotion that sends men into a tailspin.)

P.S. My sister likes to read your blog and she barely reads mine, so for her sake, maybe, post sometime soon?

9:16 AM  
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