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Wednesday, April 02, 2008


Dear Buddha's teeth:

I couldn't help noticing that you seem to be performing most of your work at night. Because people in our home need to go to work and function at a relatively high level during the day, this is proving to be less than conducive to our lifestyle. Therefore, if you could kindly refrain from any nighttime work, it would be much appreciated. Also, if it is possible to speed up the process with regard to the lastest growth of the two top teeth it would make a significant impact on the quality of our lives.

In the event that you continue to be contrary, we will be forced to take appropriate measures. Although I am not familiar with any options I have in dealing with you, I assure you that I will research avenues to thwart you -while I am up for the fourth consecutive night in a row. However, I would like to avoid any protracted battle, and therefore simply request that you freaking break through already and stop being such a bitch.

Well...that was uncalled for and I do, in fact, apologize for the preceeding language. I am normally more professional, however a lack of sleep has caused the appearance of an unattractive side (in more ways than one).

In short, I am confident that we can work together to resolve our disputes amicably. May I suggest the following agreement: should you need any orthodontia work in the future, I will be happy to agree to pay for same provided you work with me in the instant matter. I feel that this is a fair deal and will save us both considerable aggravation in the long run.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation, and I look forward to a cooperative and productive relationship with you in the future.




Blogger krystyn said...

this is hilarious - i'm sure i'll be saying the same thing in a few more months.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Let me know how the negotiations work for ya! And, if you win this particular battle, rest assured that the appearance of Buddah molars will come back to bite you later - no pun intended!!! :)

10:25 PM  

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