Who AM I?

Day one of stay at home "mom-dom". We went on a walk for an hour, and I vacuumed the downstairs and did all the dishes. Now she's napping.

Ummmm...I know I should be thankful for this time, and that I should soak her up like crazy...but....ummmmm....

Seriously, who am I anymore? I feel likeI have no identity without working. I feel guilty for not bringingin any money, and so think maybe I should be cleaning the entire house, doing all the errands, tuning up the car. How do I earn my keep around here?

Does anyone else feel this way? I know I shouldn't, my husband certainly doesn't feel that way about my new role. But still....

Is this going to get easier? Am I going to figure out my place in this family now that I'm not bringing home the bacon? OH GOD, am I going to have to COOK the bacon my husband brings home? Because I am half Jewish, and I really don't think I could stomach cooking bacon.

The smell alone. Eeeewwww, God. I hate bacon. Wait. What the hell was I even talking about? Oh yes, being a stay at home mom. I can see this will be a tough transition. What I am most nervous about is being so preoccupied with worrying about not getting another job, that I don't enjoy the time off I do have with her.

Well, that and housekeeping. I have a total fear and revulsion to housekeeping.

Still on Vacation...

I have to get back to more substantive posting. The documenting of her life is passing me by.

But then, the actual living of her life is keeping me occupied at the moment...



I am sure anyone who has ever had their kids photographed can appreciate the above picture. I'm not proud of the dancing that ensued on the beach, but thankfully, the photographer's back was to us.

Unemployed and on Vacation

Qutting your job is great! We have been doing alot, like this:




and oh! Slightly more exciting:




and a whole lot of this:



I just want to soak them up as much as I can...

CLAP FOR ME! (could also be titled, Grandma doesn't make me wear pants to nap!)

Seriously? We need to stop cheering every time she takes a breath. The kid looks for applause each and every time she pulls herself up. Look at her, she is raising her arm up all like "I am TRIUMPHANT! Everyone CHEER for me!"

(By the way, does she rock the bed head look or what?)

I QUIT

My job.

The lack of posting has really been a testament to how stressful and overwhelming...and decidedly NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY my job has been. After giving me the stink eye for a few months every day when I left at 5 or 5:30(despite coming in a full hour before everyone else), and mentioning that I never come in on the weekends, and then finally telling me that although they agreed to let me work from "home" one day a week, "yeah, we aren't going to let you do that anymore"...I said F.U.

Actually, I politely told them I thought it wasn't working out, and I was going to have to resign with a heavy heart, but could I have a recommendation for any future gig I might try to get? Thanks so much. I will totally miss you guys, thanks for being such great bosses!

But on the inside, I was totally "F.U. A-holes, you totally suck it and you have been resentful and mean since I got pregnant and have treated me poorly now that I have a baby and I'm pretty sure all the shit you have been heaping on me rises to the level of discrimination and I should sue you people because the whole thing has been unfair since last August right before I gave birth and you were emailing me while I was in LABOR and every day on my maternity leave...THEY CALL IT MATERNITY 'LEAVE' FOR A REASON you know, Jackass...and thanks for even asking about the baby ONE SINGLE M-Fing time...would that have killed you? You can take your "old school WASPY boys club firm" and shove it up your fat A$$.
I'm out Bitches!"

Pretty much the last straw came when they told me that I couldn't go on my already planned family vacation, for no particular reason other than they thought I didn't really need a vacation because "you had four months of maternity leave last year didn't you?" Oh, and the fact that they kept asking me if I was planning on getting pregnant again soon, and when did I think I would?

I'm sorry, I thought you were lawyers, and so would actually know the law. You know, like laws about not asking women when, or if, they are going to have kids...

Whatever, I'm over it. Friday's my last day. Then we head off to Cape Cod (which I just call "the Cape", but did you know that people from New Jersey think that "the Cape" could mean any number of locations?")

I am officially jumping back onto this blogging band wagon...starting July 4th!

I am BACK!

*also, let me preemptively tell you that I am not quitting to be a stay at home mom. Much as I would LOVE to do that, we simply can't afford it. So I'm taking a few months off (which we can afford) and then I am going to look for another job. So while everyone I have told about quitting has congratulated me and told me how nice it is that I am staying home with the baby...I am still a horribly guilty working mom who is just temporarily stepping off the treadmill of full time employment. But while I'm off - does anyone want to be in a playgroup with me and the baby? Because I am going to sign up for every single mommy and me thing I can possibly squeeze into the summer.

Being the mommy is my new gig. And yes, I will be happy to work late and on weekends.