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Monday, April 13, 2009


We had gone to see the Easter Bunny at the Mall about a week before Easter, and having talked up the Easter Bunny for about a month, she ran right up to him knowing what to expect basically. However, in all my preparation telling her about Easter and the Easter Bunny, I guess I neglected to tell her that the bunny was about the size of an average adult. The consequence was her complete surprise at how LARGE the Easter bunny was.

She ran right up to the Easter Bunny, looked at him, and promptly turned around to face me, yelling "MAMA THAT'S A REALLY BIG BUNNY!" Then the Easter Bunny laughed out loud. You know, the same bunny that isn't supposed to make a sound? Yeah, well, Mall Bunnies. What amateurs.

Until on Easter she encountered the Easter Bunny again at a lovely brunch down the shore (at the beach for those not in the know about New Jersey Lingo). And RINSE. REPEAT. Again; "MAMA THAT'S A REALLY BIG BUNNY, BIIIIIIIGGGGGG BBUUUUUUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY!" And again, the bunny laughed out loud. Is it me, or are bunnies really not what they used to be?

It was hysterical though. So I don't really blame the Easter Bunny. But I gave him some of my best lines, and he didn't even chuckle...

I just don't get bunny humor I guess...

But we had a great Easter: THE HIGHLIGHTS...

A basket that was heavy on books, bubbles and balls, but conspicuously light on the candy...

Dying Easter Eggs...Did you know that if you allow your child to dye eggs the night before Easter, the coloring won't come out for the fancy Easter Brunch the next morning?

And the brunch in our Easter Best

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


Obviously, I don't have a personality conducive to ebay. Clearly I have a problem with the competition aspect of an auction. So I am banning myself from it before my husband finds out I have spent the equivalent of our mortgage on summer clothes for the baby.

It started innocently enough...I love to dress her in clothes from Janie and Jack, but their line this summer just isn't doing it for me. I LOVED their stuff from last year though and through my resourceful nature, figured out that you can get never worn items on ebay from last summer. I mean, resourceful right? One might even say economically responsible in these hard times.

So I went on and found the most darling outfits, all new, all discounted because they were "so last season." I was happily patting myself on the back for being the world's best bargain hunter and wondering why I hadn't thought of this before, when I placed my first bid. Little did I know thats all it would take to be sucked into the smarmy underworld of online auctions and ebay addiction.

That my friends, is when I lost all sense of reality...suddenly it was me against "them". "Them", no doubt being other mothers like myself who were innocently looking for a bargain to cloth their child in an adorable Lilly Pulitzer summer shift. I mean, I now realize that. Hindsight is 20/20 I suppose. But at the time, I turned into some form of high rolling bidder who just wanted to WIN. They couldn't beat me...who do these moms think they are kidding? And why can't I get more information on them, like their home addresses so I can threaten them with bodily harm if they place one more bid on that dress from Janie and Jack's Paris line?

I don't know what is sadder, that I turned ebay, and shopping for my 18 month old, into a blood sport, or that I only stopped because I realized I had spent $300 on LAST SEASON'S clothing.

Like all addicts, I am so ashamed.

I'm not entirely familiar with the 12 steps, but I think one of them is contrition isn't it?

To the person who wanted the pink searsucker Ralph Lauren bathing suit in a size 2t, I apologize for bumping up the price out of spite and in retribution for your stealing....I mean winning....the Lilly Pulitzer shift. I mean, my Buddha doesn't even fit into size 2t. I humbly apologize.

And I assure you, I will be shopping for bargains somewhere that doesn't implicate the competitive edge that appears Incredible Hulk style when I am in situations that have hypothetical "winners" and "losers".

Also, I am pretty sure that for the good of my marriage, I should never, ever go to Vegas.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Sweet Sassy Molassy

Where was I...umm you know before the whole, "I quit my job to take the summer off, and then the economy imploded so I am still staying at home with my baby who is no longer a baby because HOLY CRAP she talks and walks and knows her alphabet and how to count to 15 IN SPANISH!"

(well I think she knows how to count to 15 in spanish. I only know how to count to 10 in spanish, so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt on 11-15.)

Oh, and we might be moving into a van down by the river soon. You know, because of the whole no job thing. But we are happy, and I am not stressed at ALL-unless you count the spanish speaking number counting thing. Then I am a teeny bit stressed, because honestly? I CAN NOT WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE OF DORA. Seriously. I can't.

Are you sensing how glamorous my life is?

So to catch you up in a nutshell...

First, she turned one.
Then she learned how to talk. Like really talk. Today she said "Help me, Help me, I'm falling mama" and then laughed hysterically as I ran in to see that she in fact did NOT need help, but was instead seeing how fast I could move.

Also, I went on a bunch of interviews. Then I drove to New York and punched AIG and Merrill Lynch and Bear Stearns in the face. I couldn't find DORA or I would have punched her while I was handing out knuckle sandwiches.

Then she turned 18 months...I mean, before I even knew it. She just flew right through being a baby and moved on to toddler.

Then the winter was over and the spring sprung.

So what's up with you?