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Friday, November 18, 2005

Getting the Smackdown at Work

I'm new to the wife thing. I have the basics down, it's really now just a matter of perfecting the nuances. Frankly, I find myself in circumstances that I could not have predicted and am not entirely prepared for. I just feel my way through, and learn as I go. For instance:

My husband called me at work to let me know that the head of his office had invited some of the guys to play a pickup game of basketball. My husband is extremely athletic and is therefore, very good at basketball. He is going because he loves to play any team game known to man. LOVES. IT. I thought it was good for him to go because it never hurts to hang out with the boss...but my husband has never been what you would call a "networker". (Which is actually part of his charm, he is one of those guys everyone just in "oh, your husband is so nice, we just love him!"-every secretary, lawclerk, coworker he has ever had)(And, yes, it gets annoying). But I digress.

So he went, and when he got home, he had a black eye. Apparently not everyone played nice, and he got a vicious elbow under the boards. I was horrified. He, oddly, seemed almost proud of it. He then proceeded to tell me all about the game, black eye not playing a remotely prominent or exciting role in the evening. He ended up guarding his boss, and played hard, but not too hard. Made a few good plays, and then layed off. Again, this is the nature of my husband, it has nothing to do with the guy being his boss. He could probably outplay most of his friends, but never does. He just likes to be out there and have a good time, never lets the competition get out of hand.

After he finishes telling me all about it, I realized I am faced with a situation here, and I don't really know what to do. Someone has played too rough and my husband now looks like Rocky on a bad day (and Thanksgiving is coming up for the love of God!)

Me: Who gave you the black eye?

Him: This guy at work.

Me: Did anyone say anything? Did this guy say he was sorry?

Him: It happened during play, I don't think the guy noticed. Why?

Me: What is the guy's name?

Him: Why?

Me: I am going to call his wife and tell her what he did. He shouldn't be allowed to play that rough.

Him: We need to have kids soon so we can refocus your attention...

Me: Seriously, I know. (long pause) So what's his name?


Blogger undercover celebrity said...

You are HILARIOUS! ...and your husband is quite brilliant to notice that children will be a good distraction.

The other day one of Mark's assistants (she's an older woman who has a hard time with the new, young doctor telling her what to do) was SO mean to Mark and really tried to embarass him in front of a patient.

I thougth I was going to jump out of my skin! All of my normal niceties were out the window. I had visions of stalking her in the parking lot after work and hurling insults and shards of glass at her until she promised to apologize and never be such a jerk again.

...I'm pretty sure Mark would not approve of such actions... you know, "My girlfriend beat up the mean old lady" isn't exactly an masulinating story to tell... but Lord have mercy, the she-claws did come out. :)

1:16 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

That is so funny ... I can just picture you calling the parents of your kids friends saying, "Did you know that your child took a toy away from my child?"

Your husband should feel very loved. :)

1:57 PM  
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