Clocking It
We have an ongoing battle, nay, a war going on nightly in our home. I can see no end to it and it aggravates me each night anew. It begins each night innocently enough, between 7pm and 8pm:
Me: What time do you think we should go to bed?
Him: Here we go again...
Me: Can we just go to bed early ONE DAMN NIGHT? I've been exhausted.
Him: Why can't you go yourself?
Inevitably, I end up going to bed on my own and not being able to really sleep well until he lays down next to me. So every DAMN NIGHT, I ask if he can please come to bed early for me. And every DAMN NIGHT, he doesn't. AND EVERY DAMN MORNING, HE WON'T GET OUT OF BED BECAUSE HE IS TOO TIRED FROM STAYING UP LATE. Is it too much to ask that he comes to bed at 11? Or in the alternative to get himself out of bed in the morning?
I have tried to reason with him. "How about 3 nights a week you come to bed early?" No. Even on nights he claims he will come to bed around 10, he ends up doing god only knows what until around 11 before he rolls upstairs...and I count these nights as a victory.
But what gets me, what really burns me, is the following conversation we have every morning:
Me: What time did you finally come to bed last night?
Him: Around 11:30
Me: I was awake at 11:30 and you weren't here
Him: 11:45?
Me: (cranky from not sleeping well) WHEN DID YOU COME TO BED REALLY?
How much longer can we go on like this? I'm thinking, not much.
*Please note that I am prone to being overdramatic...my husband does sometimes come to bed with me around 11, and in his defense, if I had my way, we would be in bed by 9...but my THEORY REMAINS UNCHANGED!
Me: What time do you think we should go to bed?
Him: Here we go again...
Me: Can we just go to bed early ONE DAMN NIGHT? I've been exhausted.
Him: Why can't you go yourself?
Inevitably, I end up going to bed on my own and not being able to really sleep well until he lays down next to me. So every DAMN NIGHT, I ask if he can please come to bed early for me. And every DAMN NIGHT, he doesn't. AND EVERY DAMN MORNING, HE WON'T GET OUT OF BED BECAUSE HE IS TOO TIRED FROM STAYING UP LATE. Is it too much to ask that he comes to bed at 11? Or in the alternative to get himself out of bed in the morning?
I have tried to reason with him. "How about 3 nights a week you come to bed early?" No. Even on nights he claims he will come to bed around 10, he ends up doing god only knows what until around 11 before he rolls upstairs...and I count these nights as a victory.
But what gets me, what really burns me, is the following conversation we have every morning:
Me: What time did you finally come to bed last night?
Him: Around 11:30
Me: I was awake at 11:30 and you weren't here
Him: 11:45?
Me: (cranky from not sleeping well) WHEN DID YOU COME TO BED REALLY?
How much longer can we go on like this? I'm thinking, not much.
*Please note that I am prone to being overdramatic...my husband does sometimes come to bed with me around 11, and in his defense, if I had my way, we would be in bed by 9...but my THEORY REMAINS UNCHANGED!
posted by Newlywife at 10:43 AM
8 Comments:
I am EXACTLY the same way. I must be getting old, because I'm pretty much useless after 10:30. The other night Mark and I went to a 10:00 movie, which let out around 11:45 -- we were walking out and he gleefully exclaimed, "I can't believe you stayed awake the whole time!" He was so proud. :)
And, let me not end there. HE is also exactly the same way (as your husband). He thinks he's never going to be able to fall asleep so he stays up until all ungodly hours working on the computer or watching "I can't believe they survived that crash" videos on cable. He was seriously sleeping like 4 hours a night. His memory was getting bad and he was getting grouchy at the world.
I'd spend the night sometimes just to ensure that he went to bed at a decent hour. He'd nudge me about 10 minutes after laying down,"This is horrible, I just can't fall asleep"
Me: Is your mind racing?
Him: Yes. There's no way I'm falling asleep. I think I'm going to go watch TV.
Me: Just give it 10 more minutes. Try to make a concerted effort to not think about anything.
Him: That's just not going to work.
Me: Just try.
Him: [literally not 30 seconds had passed before I heard a little snore]
I say if reasoning with him doesn't work -- give him a glass of wine, or slip him a Tylenol PM. Works like a charm. :)
I really just don't get it. I LOVE bed. I love my feather bed. I love my fluffy comforter. I love my soft sheets. And I love my pillows.
...sorry for my full-scale blog entry. I got a little excited that someone else deals with an self-induced insomniac.
The funniest part is that we have the same conversation you outlined: What time did you go to bed?, etc., etc.
First, I do believe we were separated at birth and are now leading parallel lives on separate coasts of this nation.
Second. I am totally trying the Tylenol PM thing...but can I be arrested for that? I am not down with spending the night in the pokey.
Finally, I do feel better knowing that there is another couple out there sharing the same problems.
Since Tylenol PM is an over the counter drug, I think you're in the clear.
But you have to set yourself up a couple hours before.
"Hon, I completely agree that we shouldn't go to the doctor. But I think we should start taking vitamins, so we stay healthy."
...then several hours later, when he's mesmerized by the TV. Hand him a glass of water and several pills, one of which is a vitamin, the other two are Tylenol PM.
"Here, take these"
The next day when he wakes up rested, then you can tell him... be sure to include some rhetoric about needing to break the "sleepless cycle"
good luck.
I tried the glass of wine UC, worked like a charm...couldn't quite sneak in the Tylenol PM...
My fiancee and me have the exact same conversation every night. I did not know there were other women like me.
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