free web hit counter

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Me vs. Mixer

My husband doesn't know it. He thinks all is kosher in the house and I don't know how much longer I can keep it from him. It is eating away at my very soul.

I hate the kitchenaid mixer. I mean, I really hate it. I want harm to come to it. I want to explode everytime someone says "oh, those mixers last forever, I've had mine for 20 years...you'll get alot of use out of it." My blood actually boils at the thought of looking at that smug machine sitting on our counter for the next 20 years.

But I feign love for the mixer. I act like I am excited to use it. As if I can't wait to find recipes that call for the use of a mixer. I even go so far as to rave about it to coworkers and friends. But really, I want to smash it with a shovel. That mixer represents every fear I have about being a good wife. And so while I originally vowed to beat the mixer at it's own game...to become a mix master if you will, I now just want to kill it. Does anyone know how to burn the motor out on one of these suckers?

My mom came this weekend. It is always stressful to have my parents come visit. Nothing that is their fault really, just hard to have 24 hour guests for the entire weekend. At any rate, in preparation for her coming, I baked Chocolate, peanut butter chip cookies. I used the mixer.

Yawn.

And she did not eat a single cookie.

The point you may ask? This is the point...the mixer is evil. Why? Well pull up a seat and listen closely lest you fall prey to the kitchenaide mixer in its many vibrant colors. Having mastered the cookie making process, people are no longer impressed. It is now common place to have fresh cookies in the house. My husband has taken on a wierd "thanks for the cookies, but what else can you do with that thing?" attitude. And it occurs to me that no matter how many recipes I master, people will always want more from me. It will never be good enough...I will have to keep pushing the envlope further and further.

Good god the pressure. I feel like Britney Spears. What crazy thing does a girl need to do to satiate her audience? AND SO HELP ME GOD AS LONG AS THAT MIXER IS WORKING, I WILL BE EXPECTED TO REINVENT MYSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Maybe meatballs next...what do you think?

8 Comments:

Blogger undercover celebrity said...

This is ABSOLUTELY hilarious. First of all, thanks so much for the link to my blog. If you don't mind, I must add you to my daily/weekly reading (depending on how busy I get). :)

But most importantly, you must make peace with your mixer. Why? Because someday you will need to make homemade whipped cream or "stiff peaks" of egg whites and you will absolutely praise the name of said mixer. ...in the meantime, just claim you're on a diet and that cookies are off the list. Wait a couple of weeks and then move the mixer from the counter to an out-of-reach cabinet. :)

Good luck.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I got a tip about your site from Undercover Celebrity, and she is right, you are hilarious. I'll definitely be back!

5:26 PM  
Blogger Newlywife said...

Is it wrong that I have no idea why "stiff peaks" of egg whites would be needed. Ever. You have given me new found inspiration to carry on with my battle against the mixer.

That mixer will rue the day I purchased it!

4:00 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I have a kitchenaid and I do love it. I'm one of "those" people. But I relate what you say to the same for a bread machine. I make bread from scratch, the old fashioned way and then along comes these machines and EVERYONE has the smell of fresh baked bread in their homes and all they did was dump some stuff in a machine! Evil, evil evil!!!! YOu will like your machine someday. I especially like it for meatloaf. I don't have to touch the stuff now!

10:00 AM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

chanel handbags, christian louboutin uk, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, gucci handbags, michael kors outlet online, uggs outlet, uggs outlet, ray ban sunglasses, prada outlet, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet online, kate spade outlet, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, nike air max, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry handbags, tiffany jewelry, polo outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin, nike outlet, tory burch outlet, jordan shoes, burberry outlet, replica watches, michael kors outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, uggs on sale, nike free, louis vuitton, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton, christian louboutin shoes, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses wholesale, louis vuitton outlet

9:28 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

true religion outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, ralph lauren uk, mulberry uk, michael kors outlet, michael kors, hollister pas cher, hollister uk, polo lacoste, nike air max uk, converse pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, nike blazer pas cher, north face, nike air force, ray ban uk, true religion outlet, nike roshe, nike free uk, replica handbags, longchamp pas cher, lululemon canada, sac longchamp pas cher, coach purses, nike air max uk, jordan pas cher, kate spade, ray ban pas cher, timberland pas cher, louboutin pas cher, oakley pas cher, polo ralph lauren, nike air max, north face uk, true religion jeans, sac hermes, guess pas cher, hogan outlet, michael kors, new balance, nike roshe run uk, michael kors pas cher, true religion outlet, burberry pas cher, nike free run, coach outlet store online, nike tn, coach outlet, air max, vans pas cher

9:31 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

north face outlet, ipad cases, lululemon, ferragamo shoes, bottega veneta, jimmy choo outlet, hermes belt, beats by dre, iphone 6 plus cases, timberland boots, soccer shoes, iphone 6s cases, chi flat iron, mont blanc pens, insanity workout, celine handbags, iphone 6 cases, louboutin, ghd hair, nike roshe run, wedding dresses, new balance shoes, soccer jerseys, hollister clothing, s6 case, nike air max, nfl jerseys, iphone cases, baseball bats, mcm handbags, valentino shoes, reebok outlet, asics running shoes, longchamp uk, north face outlet, vans outlet, abercrombie and fitch, babyliss, giuseppe zanotti outlet, oakley, p90x workout, hollister, instyler, herve leger, iphone 6s plus cases, mac cosmetics, ralph lauren, nike trainers uk, nike huaraches, iphone 5s cases

9:34 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, canada goose, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, pandora uk, canada goose outlet, converse, toms shoes, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, ray ban, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, nike air max, louis vuitton, moncler, hollister, ugg, marc jacobs, canada goose outlet, canada goose jackets, ugg pas cher, karen millen uk, replica watches, moncler outlet, gucci, canada goose, louis vuitton, barbour, juicy couture outlet, moncler outlet, hollister, ugg uk, coach outlet, thomas sabo, supra shoes, pandora charms, swarovski, barbour uk, links of london, converse outlet, canada goose uk, montre pas cher, canada goose, swarovski crystal, vans, moncler, juicy couture outlet, moncler, lancel, doudoune moncler

9:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home