Baby Steps

Our Neice in Her Christmas PJ's, given to her by her favorite aunt and uncle

I suppose it is the plight of every newly married couple to listen to constant rumblings of "when are you going to have kids?" or whispers of "do you think she is pregnant?" when your relatives think you are out of earshot. For years we heard "when are you getting married?"...It seems as soon as I got married, the families collectively said "NEXT!" Barely a congratulations on the way out of the Church before the baby questions started. Sheesh!

Therefore, it was no surprise when one of my husband's cousins said to me on Christmas that on the ride over, she and her husband told eachother that they thought we were going to make a "big annonuncement" tonight re: BABY.

Cousin: So are you making the big announcement?

Me: Well we were going to announce that we were pregnant tonight, but we didn't feel right about it. I mean, isn't it kind of tacky to announce that you're pregnant before you actually conceive?

You should have seen the faces. Well worth the drive over.

As I have previously explained ad nauseum, this blog is a present for my husband. I intend to give it to him on our one year anniversary as a sort of keepsake of our first year of marraige. In keeping with that, I haven't told any of our friends or family about the blog. And therefore, I may state the following safely:

EVERYONE CHILL OUT WITH THE BABY TALK.
Yes, we will have children.
No, I'm not pregnant, just gained a little weight but thanks for asking, I will be in the bathroom crying for the next hour.
Of course we will let you know as soon as it happens.
No, we do not want to discuss our fertility with you.

IXNAY on the ABYBAY ALKTAY. OKAY?


See the thing is, I love babies. I can't wait to have one. And yes, Oprah has me concerned about the fact that I am already 30 and haven't achieved total world domination while winning mother of the year yet. (side note, does anyone else feel like Oprah is a little unrealistic with her expectations of the "every woman"? You know someone should tell Oprah that 'affordable luxuries' do not include $200 face cream) but I digress...

Of course we are going to have kids, and it will most likely be pretty soon. I just think you have to be pretty damn sure you are ready to go to a place where nothing you want or need really matters anymore. A place where it is all about someone else all of the time FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS. And I am fairly certain we are there. But just to be sure, I think we should take a weeks vacation to Key West this winter, you know, just the two of us...it will help us prpare don't you think?

And also, I am almost positive becoming a mother involves scrap booking in some way, a concept that we haven't quite mastered yet and one that, quite honestly, terrifies me:

Husband: Are we saving all these menu's, receipts, matchbooks, ticket stubs from the honeymoon for something?

Me: Yes, leave them in that bag, I am going to make a 'scrap book' of our honeymoon.

Husband: You're going to 'scrap book' it all? Weren't you going to do that with the bag full of stuff from our Nantucket Trip 4 years ago that is still sitting in the basement?

Me: I'll get to it later, for now, I'll just have to 'scrap bag'

Husband: You know, 'scrap bag' is really only one letter away from 'crap bag'