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Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Mother's Day: Does it count for those of us who have the baby on the inside? According to my mother, who did not even let me finish the question before she firmly answered "NO", pregnancy does not qualify you for a free rose at the mother's day brunch, where included in the price of $60 per person is a free rose for all mothers.

Well I took the rose.

That's right, I said it. I took the rose. I think it should count. Kind of. I mean, when in doubt shouldn't we err on the side of caution? Plus, even if I wasn't pregnant, I organized that monster brunch for 15 people spanning both my family, my husband's and my sister-in-law's inlaws. So if anyone deserved that wilted scraggly rose, it was me dammit. And I took the last pink one too, so everyone else can...well use your imaginations as to what everyone else could do. So, yeah. Don't mess with a stressed out pregnant woman.

The brunch was supposed to be one of the nicest in the area. We had been before on a normal Sunday and it was wonderful. Apparently for mother's day, they decided to double the price whilst giving you half the service and a quarter quality on the food. Yes, while I did get the last pink rose, I was cut off in line by a pudgy 12 year old girl who had to have the last waffle. Do you think it was wrong of me to trip said pudge ball on her way back to the table, causing her to fall and lose the waffle? Just kidding. I only thought of doing it, I didn't actually trip her. (She was too quick for me anyway).

Even though the brunch itself was really kind of pathetic, the real stress came from wrangling all those people together and trying to enjoy brunch while monitoring about 12 different conversations going on to make sure my family didn't say anything they weren't supposed to say in front of his family, or my sister-in-law's inlaws. you get the idea...

By the time it was over I had yelled at my brother for wearing completely season inappropriate pants and shirt (which I am convinced he did on purpose just to piss me off); snapped at my mom for blurting out that my sister-in-law is pregnant in front of a table full of people who didn't know yet; given the evil eye to my father-in-law for telling the entire room that no, I shouldn't be using salt on my potatoes; and shivved the waitress who told my entire family that I had paid the check mid-meal and left (I had attempted to discreetly pay the check before it was dropped at the table to avoid the certain free for all that would have ensued as to who was going to pay for what...I have no idea why she would tell everyone I left?!?). And quite frankly, I think it is a testament to how stressed I was, that when I returned to the table, my husband was actually surprised to see me because he thought that maybe I had left because of how stressed I was.

But then! Then we said goodbye to everyone and headed home, where we sat on our front porch in rockers, reading magazines, sipping lemonade and holding hands, while music from a barbecue down the street wafted through the perfect summer afternoon. It was two hours of sheer mother's day bliss...a last relaxing mother's day before the baby gets here and I can never sit for two consecutive hours, pleasantly holding my husband's hand uninterrupted again.

Until our neighbor broke out his weed wacker and the buzz became deafening and the smell of gass filled the previously lavendar scented air...

It was wonderful while it lasted anyway!

*ps: my husband also bought me a gift certificate for a pregnancy massage, which I am sure will look pretty good to me once August rolls around and I am 8 1/2 months pregnant!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007


My Husband: You know, you are really glowing, you are beautiful. Your whole persona has changed now that you are pregnant.

Me: You mean I am sweeter and less bitchy?

My Husband: No. You are still bitchy. I just mean your complexion is glowing. But you are totally still bitchy.

Hey, at least my complexion is looking good! And I'm glad I am still the same person on the inside!