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Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Mother's Day: Does it count for those of us who have the baby on the inside? According to my mother, who did not even let me finish the question before she firmly answered "NO", pregnancy does not qualify you for a free rose at the mother's day brunch, where included in the price of $60 per person is a free rose for all mothers.

Well I took the rose.

That's right, I said it. I took the rose. I think it should count. Kind of. I mean, when in doubt shouldn't we err on the side of caution? Plus, even if I wasn't pregnant, I organized that monster brunch for 15 people spanning both my family, my husband's and my sister-in-law's inlaws. So if anyone deserved that wilted scraggly rose, it was me dammit. And I took the last pink one too, so everyone else can...well use your imaginations as to what everyone else could do. So, yeah. Don't mess with a stressed out pregnant woman.

The brunch was supposed to be one of the nicest in the area. We had been before on a normal Sunday and it was wonderful. Apparently for mother's day, they decided to double the price whilst giving you half the service and a quarter quality on the food. Yes, while I did get the last pink rose, I was cut off in line by a pudgy 12 year old girl who had to have the last waffle. Do you think it was wrong of me to trip said pudge ball on her way back to the table, causing her to fall and lose the waffle? Just kidding. I only thought of doing it, I didn't actually trip her. (She was too quick for me anyway).

Even though the brunch itself was really kind of pathetic, the real stress came from wrangling all those people together and trying to enjoy brunch while monitoring about 12 different conversations going on to make sure my family didn't say anything they weren't supposed to say in front of his family, or my sister-in-law's inlaws. you get the idea...

By the time it was over I had yelled at my brother for wearing completely season inappropriate pants and shirt (which I am convinced he did on purpose just to piss me off); snapped at my mom for blurting out that my sister-in-law is pregnant in front of a table full of people who didn't know yet; given the evil eye to my father-in-law for telling the entire room that no, I shouldn't be using salt on my potatoes; and shivved the waitress who told my entire family that I had paid the check mid-meal and left (I had attempted to discreetly pay the check before it was dropped at the table to avoid the certain free for all that would have ensued as to who was going to pay for what...I have no idea why she would tell everyone I left?!?). And quite frankly, I think it is a testament to how stressed I was, that when I returned to the table, my husband was actually surprised to see me because he thought that maybe I had left because of how stressed I was.

But then! Then we said goodbye to everyone and headed home, where we sat on our front porch in rockers, reading magazines, sipping lemonade and holding hands, while music from a barbecue down the street wafted through the perfect summer afternoon. It was two hours of sheer mother's day bliss...a last relaxing mother's day before the baby gets here and I can never sit for two consecutive hours, pleasantly holding my husband's hand uninterrupted again.

Until our neighbor broke out his weed wacker and the buzz became deafening and the smell of gass filled the previously lavendar scented air...

It was wonderful while it lasted anyway!

*ps: my husband also bought me a gift certificate for a pregnancy massage, which I am sure will look pretty good to me once August rolls around and I am 8 1/2 months pregnant!


Blogger undercover celebrity said...

Ok, I would have TOTALLY tripped the pudge ball. And/or have said, "Honey, do you really think you need that?"... just to be mean and give her a complex for the rest of her life. Which, CLEARLY she deserves for having no manners -- I mean, REALLY! Who steals a waffle from a pregnant woman?!

And, you were 100% entitled to your rose.

Only slightly related story: Around here, some of the malls have "Expectant Mother" parking, akin to handicapped parking, except the signs are pink. Nicole and I were going to lunch at said mall a few months ago and there was not a spot to be found, except the Expectant Mother spot. I looked at her. She looked at me and said, "Well, I should have started my period yesterday. Maybe I'm pregnant." Good enough for me.

...hmmm... perhaps I shouldn't have told an expectant mother that story :)

12:08 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

You deserve the rose. You are already a mother. You worry about this child, don't you? You feed this child, don't you? You care for it, and you are making a nice room for it, and buying clothes for it, and you might even be thinking about a college fund already (and if so, divide it up so LM can share some, too, please.)

I think I would have leaned down and whispered in pudge's ear that I just saw three flies on that waffle, and make a gross face and tell her you won't tell anyone if she just puts it back and then when she does SWIPE IT. I mean, it's just girl fingers, right? No real germs.

Just sayin.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Newlywife said...

Undercover, where the hell are these parking spots!?! I would totally be using them if I were aware!

(and I have no problem with you taking one!)

2:42 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

First of all-- Kudos to your husband for the pregnancy massage certificate. That is so thougtful and a very appropriate gift.

Also-- seriously, badly mannered waffle girl, she needs to go. Bad manners are not tolerated.

3:55 PM  
Blogger KidKate said...

I laughed out loud when the read the part about your husband thinking you had left from the stress. I admit, I would be tempted! I kind of think it's nice to celebrate MD while pregnant, though I have to say I was a little embarrassed when my husband told friends about it (not sure if that's a thing in the UK as much as the US?). But I appreciated the gesture from him, anyway. I *do* think we should get some credit--and I fully plan to pay him back on Father's Day!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Josefina said...

Of course you deserve the rose! My husband gave me roses also!!! No matter what happens, we're already mothers, because we have a baby inside of us!!
It was very tragic-comic your brunch!! but at least you got a couple hours to relax!!

1:09 PM  
Blogger Marcy said...

lol! That whole brunch just sounds awful. Glad you at least had SOME peace and quiet together at home. =)

1:30 AM  
Blogger SneakyPeek said...

You are SO a mom already. Good for you for taking a rose.

Glad you ended up having a nice day.

10:17 PM  
Blogger alex said...

6:36 AM  
Blogger krystyn said...

What a great post! I think you should have tripped the 12 yo!

I found your blog thru another blog and immediately found that I can relate to your situation. I've been married almost 5 wks and found out today that I'm PREGNANT!! OMG!

4:31 PM  
Blogger Keely said...

Don't wait until August to get prenatal massages! Once you have one, you'll be wanting to go back every week. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was going every other week and it was wonderful. :)

3:57 PM  
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