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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Correction: The sun did not explode, for it still burns brighter than a thousand suns

Oh. My. God. The heat. I would love to describe in detail the absolute swelling in my feet, but I fear words will fail me. I need to take a picture, but I don't want to scare small children who may have access to this blog.

I realize I am harping on this feet swelling issue, and truly, it is so far the only real problem I have had in this pregnancy, but sweet sassy mollassy, I have seen nothing like this swelling, and no books really describe it as being this dire of a situation. I may just be paranoid, but I could have sworn the doctor looked a little nervous and horrified as he said "no, that's normal..." and trailed off while staring wild eyed at my feet.

Because I don't have a picture of my feet, I will describe it (accurately I must say) in this way: My feet and ankles look like Shrek's. Yes, Shrek's feet and ankles...only not green, and with a french pedicure (which I wrongly thought would actually make my feet look more normal, but really just freaked out the peducurist). Basically, it looks like I am wearing Shrek's actual size feet on my 5 foot frame.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? SHOULD I CALL 9-1-1?

Clearly, I am the only one truly alarmed by this issue. This is what pregnancy has done to me. I am a raving lunatic about my feet.

ME: Honey, Look at my feet! (for the 100th time inside of an hour)

Husband: (not looking)

ME: LOOK AT MY FEET!

Husband: (Exasperated) I have seen your feet okay? I have been looking at your feet all night long. I UNDERSTAND that you have swollen feet!

ME: I don't give a damn if I ask you to look at my feet one thousand times. YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THEM EVERY GOD DAMN TIME I ASK! I am pregnant, and my feet are swollen. I have done everything for this baby and you have done nothing. NOW LOOK AT HOW SWOLLEN MY FEET ARE DAMMIT! (I actually may have growled like a tiger at this point).

Husband: (rolling his eyes) WOW, those are some real swollen feet you have there!

ME: (Acting like no yelling had taken place) I know! Can you believe it?!? I mean, look at them!



I think we may both be sick of me being pregnant...

6 Comments:

Blogger krystyn said...

That doesn't sound fun at all. Sorry they are so swollen!

1:06 PM  
Blogger KidKate said...

It is so cold and rainy here that my feet have not swollen since the one gorgeous week we had back in, like, March. But! I may be the only person in the whole UK who is perfectly fine with this, as there is no A/C on the tubes (the no-A/C-on-the-tubes issue for me is like you to your feet), which makes it relatively comfortable for me and the bowling ball I am currently toting.

Try not to worry too much about your feet. My best friend had the same thing (she lives in hot-as-hell Houston) and her doctor assured her it was normal as well.

2:40 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

oh my dear friend, Newly. I am so sorry. But think of all the worse ailments you could be having (and I won't list them, you know them, they are in all the books...)

I'm sorry. But hey! Only 8 weeks to go!!

10:21 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

Oh goodness. Well, I think that is an excellent excuse to stay in with your feet elevated a nice glass of Peach Fresca (it is AMAZING if you haven't had it) and read.*

*I am qualifying this. You may only read things that are NOT going to make you paranoid about things.

9:05 AM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

That is HILARIOUS. Sometimes don't you know that you're being a little crazy, but you can't stop it, so you may as well enjoy it. Hormones: a blessing and a curse. :)

I think you should definitely take pics of your feet now so when you're in need of a good guilt trip on your yet-to-be-born child, you have some good ammo. :)

...it'll all be over soon enough.

1:09 PM  
Blogger SneakyPeek said...

Is it safe to say that you have "kankles" also?

Just curious.

Hang in there, it will be over soon! and your feet will go back to the same cute size they were before.

:-)

2:48 PM  

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