Scaring Kids and Kicking Puppies
The following email was circulated by the managing partner of my office when I got back from court yesterday after winning a trial:
TO: ENTIRE FIRM
FROM: MANAGING PARTNER
RE: CONGRATULATIONS!
Hi Everyone!
It has been a banner day for Newlywifed. She just won her trial after demolishing an 8 year old on the stand. Everyone make sure to congratulate her!
Great Job, Newlywifed!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
TO: ENTIRE FIRM
FROM: NEWLYWIFED
RE: RE: CONGRATULATIONS!
The eight year old was a formidable opponent…I eventually won after she pointed to my stomach and asked if I was pregnant, and I told her "no, I ate the last kid who testified against me." After that, she folded like a house of cards.
Clearly I am trying to win mother of the year as a rookie. It's going well so far, don't you think?
*It should also be pointed out that the partner was joking (she isn't that insensitive as to think it is great to make a child cry) she's 8 months pregnant right now...and the child not testifying had very little to do with my win.
TO: ENTIRE FIRM
FROM: MANAGING PARTNER
RE: CONGRATULATIONS!
Hi Everyone!
It has been a banner day for Newlywifed. She just won her trial after demolishing an 8 year old on the stand. Everyone make sure to congratulate her!
Great Job, Newlywifed!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
TO: ENTIRE FIRM
FROM: NEWLYWIFED
RE: RE: CONGRATULATIONS!
The eight year old was a formidable opponent…I eventually won after she pointed to my stomach and asked if I was pregnant, and I told her "no, I ate the last kid who testified against me." After that, she folded like a house of cards.
Clearly I am trying to win mother of the year as a rookie. It's going well so far, don't you think?
*It should also be pointed out that the partner was joking (she isn't that insensitive as to think it is great to make a child cry) she's 8 months pregnant right now...and the child not testifying had very little to do with my win.
posted by Newlywife at 10:32 AM
6 Comments:
woohoo!! But a great start to MOTY (Mom of the Year) '07!! I'm telling ya, just having that sort of influence over those would-be-voters is CRITICAL!!
(love the line about you eating the last child...well done, Newly!!)
And congrats on the win!
Congrats!
Opposing council must have been so bummed -- stick an 8 year old on the stand and you're golden... oh, unless, of course, they're going up against a pregnant woman, aglow with maternity. :)
Congratulations. Kids are tough and smart. Just ask the people on, "are you smarter than a 5th grader?"
Hilarious! And congrats on winning your trial!
Winning feels great, huh? Congratulations!
Heeeey, congrats! It's always good to be recognized for your abilities, right? Good for you!
(Oh, and I haven't yet notified my husband of our impending move to New Jersey. Or my having to be pregnant. But don't you worry...I'll come up with something. Mua-ha. But I am quite looking forward to that welcome basket you mentioned...)
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