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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

False Alarms and Then I Punch My Husband in the Face

The pain and pressure in my pelvis was incredibly intense. And it would wax and wane. Finally, I said "I think I might be in labor." And his eyes went wide, and his face went pale. But I have to hand it to him, on the outside, he remained cool and collected.

Then it occurred to me that I hadn't felt the baby move for about an hour and a half. I know a girl who knows a girl whose baby was suffocated inside her by the cord. So the not feeling Butterman thing-totally freaks me out.

Do you think we should call? Ummmm...I don't know do you? After some debate, we called. The doctor said to come on down, in much the same way Bob Barker did on the Price is Right. Surprisingly, Bob Barker is not that reassuring of an impression to do when speaking to a pregnant woman.

My husband stayed collected and packed our bag. I packed him some snacks and took a shower. His eyes stayed wide and his face stayed pale.

I knew I probably wasn't in labor. I was just worried about not feeling Butterman. I kept repeating "Are you going to be mad?" He kept repeating "No." everything he said to me was in a sweet, soothing tone that calmed me down. He was being so understanding and nurturing.

Within an hour, we were hooked up to a monitor where Butterman was passing with flying colors, moving all over the place, heart beating strong. The doctor told us everything was fine.

"Are you mad?"

"No, it's good we know the baby is okay. Do you feel better?"

"Are you aggravated?" "Just a little?"

"No. I figured you would have two false alarms. So we got one out of the way tonight!"

"So what you are saying is 'I know my wife is a crazy overreacting pregnant woman?' Figures."

That sweet, soothing tone? The understanding and nurturing manner? It's the same way people handle the crazy bag lady who has you cornered on the train...no sudden moves in front of the looney woman with ten coats on in 90 degree weather.

As God as my witness, the next time I think I am in labor, I am going to take myself to the hospital and confirm it before calling him. He won't be able to accuse me of overreacting or being dramatic again! (unless perhaps he reads this last paragraph)

6 Comments:

Blogger krystyn said...

Well, it is better to be safe than sorry - that's what they say anyway. Glad all is well. Hang in there.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

It's good to give your husband a dry run on the labor thing...it was good to check his reaction time and make sure he was ready for the real deal. Don't let him think test runs can't happen at any time!! You have to make sure that he's on his A-game At.All.Times!!

(By the way, first contraction to birth: 5 hours for me on my FIRST child - WHEN IN DOUBT, GO TO THE HOSPITAL.)

7:53 PM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

...riiiiigggghhhht. Because crazy pregnant lady driving herself to the hospital to avoid her husband isn't dramatic at all :)

I recently found Tori and Dean: Inn Love (on Oxygen) -- I thought I'd hate it, but found myself laughing uncontrollably. When she was pregnant she was ultra paranoid that something bad was going to happen to the baby so she and her husband were ALWAYS at the doctor having him do an ultra sound. Anyway, this one time there were in the office, the doctor said, "So... what is your concern?" and Dean pipes up in the most irritated voice, "Things got hot and heavy last night and Tori thinks we killed the baby." I was rolling.

11:47 AM  
Blogger undercover celebrity said...

...riiiiigggghhhht. Because crazy pregnant lady driving herself to the hospital to avoid her husband isn't dramatic at all :)

I recently found Tori and Dean: Inn Love (on Oxygen) -- I thought I'd hate it, but found myself laughing uncontrollably. When she was pregnant she was ultra paranoid that something bad was going to happen to the baby so she and her husband were ALWAYS at the doctor having him do an ultra sound. Anyway, this one time there were in the office, the doctor said, "So... what is your concern?" and Dean pipes up in the most irritated voice, "Things got hot and heavy last night and Tori thinks we killed the baby." I was rolling.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

Sounds like test run #1 went swimmingly. Excellent job. Plus, it is always much better to be safe than sorry.

9:37 AM  
Blogger KidKate said...

I have one of those "friend of a friend" situations too, which has made me TOTALLY PARANOID this whole pregnancy (hence the handheld doppler heart monitor thing). Don't feel bad at all! Though I am opposite from you--I'm convinced I'm going into labor never. Sigh.

3:16 PM  

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