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Friday, July 13, 2007

A long drive in...

This morning my husband and I got into a huge fight, with raised voices on the drive into work. First, we rarely raise our voices when we disagree, but more than that, the fight was about my firm's softball game last night.

Which neither of us went to, or had anything to do with.

Yes. We are in that stage of summer heat/aggravation/pregnancy.

My firm has a softball team. I play sometimes, but in light of the bowling ball in my stomach, I am on the disabled list this season. Sometimes I go to cheer them on, but lately...well, lately I'm all "eeehhh, who cares about softball?" So I didn't go to last night's game. A game played against the Federal Judges.

FEDERAL JUDGES. Who we appear in front of and ask (sometimes beg) for their discretion regularly. Yes, those federal judges.

And while my husband likes to say "on the softball field, everyone's just another guy", these judges are, ummmm, how do I put this fairly?...these judges are serious about the game and winning. Do you get what I am saying? No? Fine then, be that way. I'll just come out with it. These judges are jackasses. They try to impose the same power they have from the bench on the softball field. And they cheat, or try to take advantage of other teams because of who they are off the field.

Which isn't fair is it? But what are you going to do about it?

According to my husband (and my firm's male associates on the team) you should tell them where to stick their robes and gavel, and fight them on every bogus call.

Which would be fine, if the next day you didn't have to go before them and ask for a continuance of the trial because your expert witness isn't available next week. A request that they can grant or deny at will with no oversight or recourse. A request that is not appealable. A request that literally impacts your entire case, and the case of your client who is paying you an exorbitant amount of money to do everything you can to win.

Which was the only point I was trying to make. I agree that it isn't fair that they act that way, and I agree that it would be wrong of them to base their decision on how you acted during a softball game and their personal feelings toward you...but where does that get me in light of the fact that it actually happens. So while it isn't fair...what's that saying?....oh yeah. LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

Do you think your client will care how unfair it is when you tell him the reason you have to try the case without your expert witness is because you stood up for yourself when the judge tried to call you out at second during a softball game? That depends...will you think it's fair when your client doesn't pay his bill because you mouthed off to the judge the night before you had to ask him for something?

Whatever, the point husband and I were screaming at eachother over this on the drive in. Did I mention neither of us was involved in this game in any way? Yet it clearly made sense to have a blowout on an otherwise beautiful Friday morning.

Also, in our morning stop to Dunkin Donuts, my husband, driving like an ass because he was angry, pulled a Dukes of Hazard style manuever and drove into the parking lot from a major 4 lane highway without slowing down...effectively jumping the car in the air over the curb and squealing into a space.

Nice. Because that's what every uncomfortable pregnant woman needs: To be Luke Duke at 7:00 in the morning on the way to a tough day at work. I seriously considered rolling down the window and jumping through it when he pulled over to let me out in front of my building. Trust me, if it was at all a logistic possibility I would have done it simply to make a point. Sadly, I can barely roll out of the car as it is.

The End.

**Really, I have no cute ending to this story. But I won't leave you hanging. My firm won by a single run. Now you can sleep tonight...


Blogger undercover celebrity said...

Feeling your pain. And the pain of the whole argument -- why can't everyone just play by the rules. The only recourse you have that wouldn't get you into trouble is to just not play with the bullies anymore. Teach them how lonly it can get at the top if they don't want to play nicely.

But all of that is completely irrelevant because all I can think about it you trying to Luke Duke your way out of the car. HILARIOUS!

12:06 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I was right there with you, stoically mad, and yet standing on the side of reason until you left me with the mental image of a pregnant woman trying to pull herself out of a car window. Yeah, I kinda got sidetracked from the discussion at that point. I think you SO should have done that so Hubby might have stopped long enough to at least laugh. That's better than arguing, right?

8:59 PM  
Blogger KidKate said...

I love hearing about your job--it sounds so fascinating! The Dukes of Hazard part had me laughing out loud. And yeah, my husband and I get into those kinds of pointless disagreements too. Hate that.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Katrina said...

Oh, my goodness--your arguments with your husband are SO much more interesting than ours (which usually involve forgetting to write something down in the checkbook or coming home late without calling or something mundane like that.) Clearly, we need to come up with some original material...

12:56 PM  
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5:14 AM  

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